I celebrated 24 years of sobriety this past January. I also finished the final project for my Masters degree with a study on foster care with teenage clients and generous people who work in the field. I reflect back to the 92 lb near death mess I was upon my final surrender to alcohol and drugs. With the help of my sponsor and her sponsors’ strong suggestion of long term treatment, I went out to LA to one of the two sober living places available where women and children were accepted. Women die of mommy guilt everyday. I use my voice today to educate and try to rid the stigma of those who still suffer, self-destruct, and that minimize or and lie about what is really going on. As well as for those who feel shame and fear of judgement, punishment, and retaliation for having an illness.
It took years, but I will not stay quiet! I will not be silent! I will use my voice and experience. How we tire of the contempt. Hate the disease, not the person suffering with the disease. They already hate themselves. The definition of stigma is ‘a distinguishing mark of social disgrace’ and as one writer said “Who would take a stand and admit this and try to change things?” Me! I will not stay silent. Some of my greatest struggles and disappointments are my greatest motivators. The ultimate martyr, women simply exist-much of the contempt comes from family and often society. I am indeed chosen (said a remarkable woman with 41 yrs) to be a chosen comforter, truth teller, an opportunity to connect with human beings on a level I never thought possible.
I am determined to lift the fallen, restore the broken, and heal the hurting. Let go of what you can’t change. Healing does not mean it never existed it means the damage no longer controls our lives. Be soft and loving; take no shit. Separate yourself from blessing blockers. I have taken so much heat for this. Mothers are self-destructing everyday. We must get down to causes and conditions and discuss solution no matter how painful it is. Then you redefine yourself as a victor in your own life.